Radioactive (4th times a charm)…

So here we are again, isolated in my bedroom away from my kiddos, my husband, my Momma, family and friends. Most people say to take advantage and use this as a vacation but it’s just not possible for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve caught up on some Netflix shows and indulged on some lemon candies (lol it’s all i got).

But it honestly stops there, I have MAJOR Mom guilt – I’ve tried to let it go but as much as I hate our morning routines (like seriously, hate it) or homework and everything in between….I want to be there, to help, to be needed – and to get on my almost 10 year old daughter when she gives my mom attitude (even though I know she can handle it – she might have dealt with it before lol).

Then there is Spence, I was grateful that Mileigh and Conor (almost 10 and almost 8) were at a special “in-between” age where they didn’t NEED me all the time – they were 7.5 and 5.5 when I got diagnosed. They wanted me but they were also old enough that they understood Mommy had to take special medicine so they couldn’t be around me for a couple days. But Spence is only 6 months old….all he wants is Mommy right now and doesn’t understand why I just have to keep my distance for now. It hurts my heart when he cries every time I walk in the room. So for now, I just try to keep my distance and remember it’s only a few days. So needless to say, this time is different – my older two know the drill. They know if they ask me to do something, I’ll more than likely give them permission just to see them smile lol. Some mom’s can do this – they can enjoy their “me” time – and there is nothing wrong with that. To each their own. So for now I’ll try to take advantage of having the bed to myself, watching shows without interruption, and not having any responsibilities but know that I’m honestly counting down the days, hours, minutes until I can be around the rest of the world again.

It’s tough in this social butterfly to be away from it all….

4 thoughts on “Radioactive (4th times a charm)…

      • Michelle says:

        I haven’t, my diagnosis was changed, it has taken nearly 4 months but they have finally diagnosed me as hod lymphoma that has spread to my thyroid not the other way around! So I have my staging tests this week and chemo starting after that. My Ent consultant says that it is a better diagnosis as the surgery for thyroid is extensive. ( that is after spending half an hour in my first app telling me how thyroid cancer was the good cancer and that it shouldn’t even be called a cancer). I’m glad your doing well and have had your baby! I think that’s what is annoying me most we we’re trying for a baby which is now on hold for years!

        Like

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