So most people, after they have surgery of any type, can’t wait for their scar to go away – for whatever the reason. They want to get past it, they want to forget, they want to have nice looking skin again, or they simply just don’t want the scar…but that is not the case for me.
I don’t want my scar to go away. Yep, I DON’T want it to go away. I’ve seen so many people on my support groups or other Survivors that I’ve met that have given me suggestions on what I can used to make it fade away OR go away almost completely, like vitamin E or over the counter scar creams. I always smile and say thank you for the advice but I have no intentions of trying any of it.
To most, this might be silly, especially since I have a fairly big scar in comparison to most ThyCa Survivors with the typical TT. I get stares all the time, most kids are horrified – they point and want to avoid me (especially right after my surgery). I know prior to my surgery, I was terrified of how it would look or how long it would take before it would heal. I bought a scarf to cover my neck, mostly for my kids so they weren’t terrified when I first got home but the day they came to the hospital, I didn’t hide it quick enough….they saw it and they were scaried to death. Conor wouldn’t even come near me and Mileigh just kept crying and pointing at my neck. Needless to say, I lost it…I hated that my kids didn’t want anything to do with me even though I understood their fear.
Now my kids love showing off my scar and explaining that my butterfly was taken out – but more than anything hearing the kids talk about how strong I am – it brings tears to my eyes. I know my ThyCa journey is only a small part of who I am and a short chapter in my book of life BUT I can’t express how much I’ve changed in the last year. I feel that my scar is the constant reminder that I need on my hardest of days or even on my best days. But I love when people ask me about it now – I’m not ashamed because it brings awareness to a cancer that is often thought of as a “good” cancer.
So scar please don’t go away! 🙂