My Fight Song

So I just recently posted on Facebook that I have started a new chapter in my life – I have decided to be happy again and not let ThyCa get to me anymore. I would do my best each day to get up and make it a good one.

“Learning to live with ThyCa, not letting ThyCa dictate how I live my life.”

Well part of what helped with that, is a song – most people can relate with songs. That’s what helps bring us together. I first heard this song at Relay for Life as I was walking my “Survivor Lap” and I was brought to tears. I can honestly say I didn’t even hear most of the words because it took all I could to get around that track and back to my family and friends. But the next day when my neighbor and friend posted it online so I could hear it, I listened and that’s when it became MY SONG.

What I love about this song is it can be used by so many different people for so many different types of struggles in life. For me it was cancer, for another family member it was her divorce and depression, it can be a getting through college and making it into the real world, etc. It’s whatever you have found difficult to where you couldn’t get out of bed or you have felt you couldn’t talk to someone or maybe you have talked to someone but they couldn’t relate and you feel alone. But now – now you FINALLY feel like you can be set free. You are ready to take on the world and get through whatever you are going through and even though you may not be able to beat it – it’s the sole fact that you tried and you fought and you lived your life to the fullest.

For me, I had so much anxiety in the day-to-day life that I felt out of control and crazy, I really felt crazy. Everyone kept telling me to trust my judgement and if something didn’t feel right that I needed to go back to the doctor and if that was the case, I would be back at the doctor once a week – I started to feel as though I couldn’t trust my own judgement and that is scary. I was once a confident and independent person but am now lacking the ability to trust myself and having to rely on others so much that it doesn’t really do much for in self-esteem department. Do I know that it’s going to be ok and that it’s ok to ask for help? Absolutely, but it’s still an adjustment that I’m learning to live with. After I started seeing a therapist that specializes in traumatic life events – such as cancer, anxiety and depression, I got my medications stabilized through my Endo and PCP, and I realized that I couldn’t change whether my cancer was still in my lungs nor would there be anything I could do until we hit the 6 month mark after radiation – I soon started to become more “OK” with my new normal. I am still always tired and I think that is just part of it so I’m just trying to stay busy but still allow myself time to rest, all at the same time.

In the mean time, I have my Fight Song – it helps me get through my hard days and helps me celebrate my good days. I get to blare it out loud in the car with my Hubby and kiddos when I am happy because it’s my feel good song. It comes on the radio like every other song, when before I never heard it and my kids ask for it all the time as well. My daughter even knows all the words now! But it’s also there when I need pick me up and I am having a hard time getting through the day and can’t seem to get out of bed or if I am having baby fever and wishing that we didn’t have to wait so long to try again.

Either way, it’s a beautiful song and everyone should take the time to listen to it! If you are struggling – just know that everyone is going through something!

Fight Song

By: Rachel Platten

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years
I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song (Hey!)
Take back my life song (Hey!)
Prove I’m alright song (Hey!)
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong)
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

No I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me